How we got here.

A little bit about us.

We always knew we’d have to do IVF. Dawson was diagnosed with stage 1 testicular cancer within weeks after we moved to a new city for our big people jobs (I saved his life, I will never let him forget that *wink*…check your nuts!). It was a whirlwind. I was starting a new job, my Mom was temporarily living with us and taking care of Dawson (a life-saver). He went through an orchiectomy where they removed the sick nut and then did two rounds of chemo to lower his chances of reoccurring cancer to 5%.

We’re so lucky that we’re surrounded by family here, so while the dreaded “c” word was scary, time flew by. Dawson’s been cancer free for almost five years! The hardest part was his initial reaction to cancer…”I just want to have my own kids”. Me, being a dorky, smile-in-the-face-of-hardship, wife said…”we got this! We’ll be fine”.

My soon to be sister-in-law and BFF, Simms, did us a solid when she said “you have to freeze sperm!” She saved our future. She’s the reason we’re able to start this IVF journey! So Dawson drove two hours each way a few mornings before work (bless his heart) to “make deposits” at the first fertility clinic we knew of. This was prior to cancer surgery, so we shipped those future babies down to Florida to “chill out” for a few years (get it?! freezer jokes).

We stopped all forms of birth control after we learned of Dawson’s diagnosis. We were so young, 22, so a baby would’ve been so much, but we figured we had to take our chances. Five years later and here we are, still no baby! No miscarriages, just no babies. So we saved up as much money as we could and we are ready to start our IVF journey.

There are many steps to take prior to IVF, and I’m not going to pretend that I know all about them, but we skipped those steps. We had a consultation and learned that Dawson was indeed sterile, as we suspected. Not a big blow to our confidence, since we had saved sperm. However, blood tests and an ultrasound proved that I actually had some reproductive issues, Diminished Ovarian Reserve. That was a shock! I’ve always been regular, no health issues, but turns out I have some lazy ovaries (that’s my term…this blog is not medical!).

All of these things, and the guidance of our doctor, confirmed what we already knew. Early babies were going to be IVF babies. We only have two samples of Dawson’s sperm to try this out with. As I type, they’re in the air on their way here! That’s crazy.

So if you’ve stuck around this long, thanks! It took me a while to start any kind of writing about this adventure, but, I am an open book. I always have been, always will be, and my friends and family know it. I understand not everyone wants to hear about this journey. I understand that it can be upsetting. But as I’ve been struggling with how to feel, I have been looking up blogs and support groups…and I haven’t had much luck. So I am doing this for my sanity…and maybe one person who some how gets a hold of it and it makes them feel better, more normal, less alone, crazier…whatever! Stick around if you like.


The Early Birds

Sara Dawson Kiddos

Baby Sara and Dawson….circa 2010 maybe?!


Wedding Sara and Dawson…circa 2013…making faces at our weird friends.

wedding 1

My favorite. My love.


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